Over the summer I was privileged to attend two funerals, Fr. Raymond and my mother-in-law, Betty Ray Canipe. Why would I connect the two? It is quite simple. Betty passed away on Saturday and Fr. Raymond passed away on Sunday. So close together I could not help reflect on parallels between the two of them which I will hope you will not mind me sharing.
The first is the peace of both families in the firm belief that there is a Resurrection and that the end of the earthly life is not the end of life. I watched Fr. Kenneth peacefully bless his brother in parting just as if Fr. Raymond was going to bed for the night. I watched my father-in-law part with his wife of 61 years in sorrow, but also with a firm belief that he will be with her again. Both passings were a reminder of St. Benedict’s admonishment to always keep death before our eyes [RB 4:47] and to always hope in God’s mercy [RB 4:74].
Listening to both eulogies another parallel stood out. In both, their lives were remembered because of their hospitality. They greeted all as if they were Christ. Most of what they did was behind the scenes, unobserved except by those who happened to be aware. As a member of St. Stephen’s Ministry, Betty spent years caring for the home-bound, cooking meals and visiting. Fr. Raymond also spent years as a Pastor and Oblate Director helping others and caring for their needs. I think most Oblates would be amazed at the amount of work he did before each Oblate meeting. But most importantly, both did this work not for recognition nor what they would get out of doing it. They did it from a sense of hospitality, something we are all called to do as Oblates.
And neither knew a stranger. Each person who joined the Oblates knew they could call on Fr. Raymond in what ever need there might arise. The same with Betty who was often the unofficial “hostess” of their Sunday school class at church. Do not be absent too often or soon there would come the concerned phone call asking how everyone is and see if there was need. They showed us by their example how to live St. Benedict’s call to welcome all as Christ [RB 53:1].
Both were faithful in prayer. If we are honest with ourselves we often allow the day to day events in our lives to interfere with the Work of God. The monks, however, stop what they are doing multiple times a day to participate in the Liturgy of the Hours – not for one or two years but for 30, 40, 50 and 60 years. I knew when Fr. Raymond was ill – he was not in choir. Every time I looked across the choir there he was, his powerful voice recognizable as he prayed the Psalms. Betty was also faithful to the Work of God. One of her greatest regrets was her inability in later life to read the Scriptures as she faithfully did for many years. Only with the onset of the blindness caused by glaucoma did she stop her daily Scripture reading.
Those who know Fr. Raymond better than I could expand the list of his strengths as could those who knew Betty. We consider ourselves blessed to have know just one person as has been described above. I was blessed to have known both. One was Catholic, another Baptist, but both exemplified, in my mind, what it means to live a Benedictine life.
