Oblate Program at Belmont Abbey, NC

Habitually impatient, or maybe not



Patience is not an easy virtue or habit to acquire.   It is not a permanent state to be arrived at, but a way of letting go of control of the illusion that being angry, or impatient, or demanding, will get results that will go according to my will.  Stuck in traffic, or dealing with someone whom I think difficult, will not change if I get irritated or angry, merely for the reason that the event or person will not be the way I want it, or them to be.  So each day patients has to be practiced when the inner feeling or emotion is actually far from feeling serene.  We become patient in the moment that we either practice it, or attempt to.  It allows us to have some objectivity about ourselves and the world around us.   A person who is habitually impatient is very unhappy because the world will not line up according to anyone’s desires. We are called to adapt, to speak up when it is needed, but overall to understand that it is not all about us.  To embrace the moments is not always easy; but to constantly seek to attempt to control others and outer events, is even more difficult, though paradoxically easier to do.  Self-centeredness seems to be easy and natural for us, though it leads often to chaos and cycles of pain and deep frustration.

To react to an injustice with anger is not inpatients. It is not about control of others, but not allowing others to control or manipulate us in ways that are harmful.  It is not about being a doormat, but about being centered, in the moment and being truly present to others and when needed, to speak truth in a way that is not manipulative.  A slow process but one well worth seeking to acquire; one day at a time as the saying goes, that is all we can do, one day at a time Sweet Jesus.

Weariness to all

A constantly squeaking wheel,
will soon be ignored,
inpatients leads to further frustration,
for a habitual impatient person
is weariness to all.

Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery


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