Oblate Program at Belmont Abbey, NC

Our elders

time-life-older-dohle-webThey are everywhere, these very old people, each a call to meditate on our own mortality, something most would like to put off until tomorrow, yet we only have today, tomorrow does not yet exist, will never in fact, well as an idea, for there is only this day where our potential can be lived out.

Our elders seem frail to us, but wonders of wonders they seem to enjoy life, their canes, walkers, rollaters, do not interfere with their pursuit of life and its gifts, in fact, they often seem more at peace and calm than their younger counterparts, and yes many seems filled with contentment, love and yes joy.

They laugh, their eyes sparkle if only we take the time to look, if we speak to them they often show deep wisdom, if not that, they show us an acceptance of what simply ‘is’,

often speaking of their deep faith and experiences of God’s faithfulness in their lives,

and behold they are truly beautiful, for their fragility speaks of a life well lived, worn out with work and worry, giving themselves totally to their life’s task, many veterans of our wars, who dare not talk of their experiences, so painful are they.

Many will speak of death, showing no fear, yet not wanting to go yet, for we are here for a short time one old man told me; “we should hang around as long as possible”.

They are brave, taking each diminishment with grace, though I am sure at a cost, gentle with others, based on a life lived with concern for those around them, enduing pain with grace, helping each other walk these last miles, sitting with one another when sick, helping each other take that final step through the dark door in to the arms of the infinite, of which many place their trust.

The aged should not be pitied, but admired, for while their sufferings are many, their dignity is also deep, and courage profound, just because it is a common trait does not take away from its preciousness, nor admiration off.

It is true that not all the aged are like this. For some, life has been brutal, a nightmare, they are wounded, often cantankerous, and some can seem mean, evil even. Yet they have also walked a hard road, they just could not overcome their past, these should be dealt with compassion, mercy, empathy and forgiveness, for none of us knows which group we will fall into. Perhaps they are there to teach us something of patient endurance, and in loving them, healing will come. That is my experience with working with those oldsters who are troubled, in the end all respond to love, for some it is just later than others.

For the gift of old age is the living out of truth, no mask, what you see is what you get, which can be unpleasant; in the end we have much to learn from the aged, they are our teachers, and in getting to know them, hopefully, old age will not be dreaded, but simply accepted as just another mile to walk on our pilgrimage.

Life is really a pilgrimage, it is a truth often forgotten, we so seek permanence, yet that is not to be. The aged, in which most of us will no doubt be one day, sooner for some like me; teach us the folly of seeking one point in life where we can finally sit down and rest, no each moment we move forward, dragging and kicking, or with acceptance, it matters not, we each have an appointment waiting at the dark door, which will open for each one of us.

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