I have a friend who has a lot to carry. He is bi-polar and has others ‘issues’ that could cause his life to be very chaotic. I met him 20 years ago when he started his journey of healing and was impressed by his courage and his ability to express himself. Over the years he has kept in touch with me. He calls me, we talk, pretty much about the same things, but over the years I see change in how he relates to others as well as himself. We are different enough that he is an enigma to me, which is good, for it keeps me in a listening mode and not one where I have him figured out. He is lucky in that he has a loving family who supports him and encourages him to seek deeper understanding and healing. So here is a man who is very chaotic, yet is making progress in his life. His life while not easy is in order. He suffers deeply yet walks in hope and faith. He seeks to understand how others suffer in much the same way he does and is learning to be more compassionate towards them.
God works in our lives where we are the weakest, reaches us in our inner chaos, and comes close when we feel the least together or even virtuous. Grace is like that, love is like that, for love hopes and believes in the one loved. God loves us, so it may be hard to understand but perhaps God believes in us as well, that our lives have a significance that we don’t see nor understand. So those people who struggle, fail, get up and continue, or those who fall and can’t get up, are on a journey like all of us that we don’t always see the reasons behind it. We are connected on a deeper level that perhaps is beyond our ability to understand. In the modern study of Near Death Experiences….the life-review brings to light how our smallest kindnesses or instances of cruelty, no matter how small affect others. Those who have the NDE become all those in their lives that they interacted with them, so close is our connection with one another. We learn of our connection with others in this life, or perhaps when we die and begin our journey after we leave this world. Death it seems is not an escape from life, but a deeper journey into the heart of the mystery.
What is heaven, what is hell, is it about being open to our connection with all, or our rejection of it?
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
