What I have learned from writing prisoners
No matter where we find ourselves we still have struggles and are in many ways imprisoned by fear and habits that keep us chained from the freedom of the children of God. In writing prisoners I am learning that as far as their everyday struggles are concerned, and their desire to serve God, they are no different from me and in my own path toward loving God with my whole heart, mind and soul and in loving my neighbor as myself. It is in our humility, that we draw close to God When that is missing we are doomed to repeating the same failures and sins over and over again. By growing in self knowledge, we become freer for we know what we need to bring before the Lord. Until we learn that, the Lord will let us fail until we learn. Below is a letter I shared with a prisoner I have been writing for quite a while and I have come to have a deep respect and caring for him. His first name is Roger; please pray for him and those in prison with him.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
Dear Roger,
Thank you for sharing so deeply in your last letter. One thing about life my friend is that there will always be a struggle of some sort. Our inner chaos and the chaos of the outer world often meet at a crossroads and we simply have to choose if we are able, or to work towards the ability to decide. And yes, it is often the same struggle, or one of a few others. Relationships are the main area of most lives where that struggle seems to be the strongest. Our freedom is not as great as we think it is, yet though growth, getting up and understanding our cycles we can slowly learn from them and be more mindful of our weaknesses as well as strengths. That is why self-knowledge is all about.
It is our relationship with Christ Jesus that fills the emptiness in our souls with his light. The deeper we are rooted in him, the more we are able to embrace the many ups and downs of our lives. For no matter where you are, be it in prison, or outside, or even if your life is filled with every good thing, you would still struggle with something.
We are finite beings with the calling and appetite for the Infinite. That is why all of our plans to escape our inner pain through self destructive ways of self medication lead only to deeper pain and emptiness. Yet for many, it seems they never learn…..well…..that is until they hit some sort of bottom and backed into a very small tight corner. For it is there that grace often finds us and helps us to open up our hearts. It can be a zig zag process yet the Lord seeks only to bring us home, to heal us and to bring us to the understanding of His deep love for all of us. In that we learn compassion for self and others.
Praying for those there in prison with you and especially for those who bother you the most, is a good way to deal with others aspects of ourselves that may seek revenge, or worse, on our ‘enemies’. It is in our contact with Christ Jesus that healing comes and we learn how much he has forgiven us, it makes it easier (but not easy) to forgive and love others. For often people are caught up in dramas they have no inkling of. It is all they know. I am not much further along. Yet to know that I am loved by God in Christ Jesus, allows me to draw on that love and to not fear whatever is shown me. It is all lifted up to the Infinite Mercy.
Life goes by in a ‘blink’ my friend. Each day seems permanent yet we know it is not. Each moment passes, which is why they are all precious. No matter what moment you are in, or no matter what you are experiencing, everything is there for you to turn to God, to be with God no matter what you are experiencing, and in that you learn to love God for Himself, and not for what you can get out of Him…..slowly Christ Jesus leads us to ‘Agape’ love. This can only be reached by a heart touched, consumed by grace, intoxicated by God’s love. This love is often hidden from us, but when we choose what is right and good, it is a sign that we are truly rooted in the Agape/Love of God.
It is quite a dance but one worth having with God. Everything in your life will come out for the good if you turn it over to the Lord. Bring before Christ Jesus all that is in you; your struggles, your failures and your sins, your past regrets and your fears and anxious concerns and place them in the chalice and offer them up to the Lord. It is fear that keeps us chained in our inner cells, it is Christ Jesus who wishes to free us, for as he said: “Fear is useless what is needed is trust”.
