When people take seriously their interior life, they slowly become aware of how quickly they can react to outside stimulation. In trying to become a more approachable human being we over time become aware how we can keep that from coming true. So that is when conversion begins in earnest, especially if we also seek a relationship with God making it important and central in our lives. For then we come to realize that we often just react, we see how unjust that can be towards others and how we can be controlled by past hurts and injustices. This does cause intense inner struggle, but it also makes us freer and our relationship with others can over time become more just and loving. Part of the wounding of the soul, comes when the Holy Spirit starts to bring forth the greatest gifts, higher than all Spiritual gifts, which is Love. It is a love that is stronger than death, and is willing to bear all for the sake of drawing closer to the Lord and growth in loving self and others. It is a slow journey, yet in the end a joyful one even in the midst of struggle.
Once I am aware of the log, or logs in my own eye, I become more conscious when I fall into judging others when I may be (usually am) doing the same thing, or worse. Judging others and pointing fingers can be a way of seeking to escape form the humility that self knowledge brings.
My troubles
If only my troubles started with others;
I wish at times the world was not a house of mirrors
reflecting back what is merely within
even if hidden
revealing itself in what I perceive.
Attacking the mirror does not work
shattering it only forestalls the work needed doing,
yet if I react
there is an abundance of mirrors waiting to manifest.
So I am trapped by reality
my reflection becoming my own hell,
unending suffering
seeking a scapegoat that does not exist.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
Holy Spirit Monastery
