Did Jesus understand,
did he know the fate,
just around the corner stalking him,
he was fully human after all,
true the Word,
yet
he did grow in wisdom and knowledge.
From what he said the answer seems to be yes,
so the day before it began
perhaps his soul was already sweating blood
long before the garden.
Was he pensive,
did he show anxiety,
did his friends and followers see a difference,
or out of love
did he keep it to himself
sparing them for as long as possible
before his deep,
painful,
journey towards death began.
Anticipation can be a greater suffering,
as the blood in the garden
pouring down is face seems to testify.
The love present that allowed such a thing to happen,
knowing,
yet walking towards it,
is something beyond my ability to comprehend,
to give oneself up,
to embrace
betrayal from a loved one,
abandonment from those trusted and depended upon,
to be tortured,
mocked,
and to die a horrible death
naked before all
is something before which I am lost,
for he carried the death of us all to the place of pain,
showing us our situation,
and
yes again
forgiving those who betrayed,
tortured,
mocked,
abandoned,
for in this drama we each are shown a part of our journey,
our lives,
how we fail and how we don’t,
yet in the end
it is mercy given to all
by a love that took upon itself our souls,
our wounds,
sins,
in loving mercy.
Soon the drama will begin.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
