One of the early experiences on the way to conversion is the sense of being trapped in sinfulness. Half-desiring an escape but not perceiving any possible means of release.
For the eye of the mind is unable to fix itself firmly on what it had so fleetingly glimpsed. It is subject to the constraint of inveterate habit holding it down. In this state the person is filled with yearning and ardently tries to transcend self. Each time weariness intervenes and the soul sinks back into familiar darkness.
Conversion means being liberated by God’s grace so that we can at last follow the intimate spiritual aspirations that have long been unheeded, neglected, or frustrated. It is the beginning of the journey towards a fulfillment, a journey powered by the spiritual quest but one which profoundly influences and transforms every sphere of human activity and experience. It is not an irreversible step, nor is it unconditionally guaranteed against breakdown. But it is a beginning. If we work hard at maintaining the process, as far as it depends on us, we can be reasonably sure that it will bring us to a happy conclusion. This is not to say, however, that we will always understand the ways in which we are led.
At the heart of Christian anthropology is the conviction of a deep affinity between human nature and spiritual life. The difficulties of living spiritually do not come from our nature, as such, but from the deformation of our nature through selfishness and pride. Humility aims to eliminate the phony aspects of our life and to help us to live in truth. Part of the truth of human existence is that we are called to live for God. Humility, oddly enough, leads us to recognize our human dignity. It reminds us that we were created for God and that we will be profoundly miserable until we devote the substance of our energies to the realization of this innate potential.
Michael Casey
Living in the Truth, pp. 27-28
