Choices are very important, for they give directions to out lives and allow focus to result. Moments of choice are important for without them life can become something meaningless, leading nowhere, just endless cycles of the same.
Important as our choices are, they also cause other avenues that could have been chosen to be put aside. So there is always a price to be paid when we discern the direction of our lives. Marriages and careers that are chosen are probably the more obvious ones that come to mind. Our friends are also crucial, for we tend to flock with those who share many of our beliefs and values. Some bad choices can be made as the years go by, some have to be lived with till the bitter end and for others there can be a way out.
In any case we all have lives and it is there that we find the drama of our pilgrimages played out. Then the time comes when that specific way of life is taken away from us, it is called retirement if it has to do with work, or we become a widow or a widower when a spouse dies. We also may have to move away from our friends. For many all the above can happen quickly, so suddenly a new life opens up, one in which the old strengths developed could be rather useless and a waste of time. They can actually be impediments, causing many problems, some of them serious. So when one gets to be a certain age the old maps become obsolete and something new needs to come forward. People do this with different levels of success, though most seem to do alright.
It is a time were a different focus needs to be developed, new ways of doing thing, new friends, perhaps a new job that is different than the one just retired from, or with today’s economy, laid off from. It can be called a desert experience, since the old familiar sign posts are no longer there. It can seem like one is living in a new place where the streets have no name, so it can be a time of confusion and deep questioning and seeking. It is a point in life where listening to the soul is more important than ever.
A turning point is needed, something that can be fearful for some. Old gifts, now no longer needed, can lead to a feeling of uselessness for a time. Learning new talents (or ones just put on hold because of choices made in the past), need to be looked into and deepened. In some ways, the older years can be based on something broader, a course of action that can bring ones mind, body and soul into the picture in ways that may not have been possible in the past.
Some find different careers. Old gifts flowering, bringing joy both to those on the new road and also to those they come into contact with. Others become more interested in helping, becoming volunteers at food bands, churches, shelters and other areas where their assist is needed and appreciated. In any case, it can be time to do what one wants, and for some it is something that they always wanted to do anyway, but had to choose other avenues become of economic reason or family pressure.
It can also be a time for the deepening of ones spiritual life that goes along with the ever more obvious specter of death that comes to be part of life. The death of same age friends makes it hard to not think of ones mortality. This however can be something freeing, along with the deepening of ones faith and also to a greater understanding of the beauty of ones spiritual essence.
It is a paradox. For once the reality of how much time we have left on this earth does not have to be ignored or repressed, the happier and more appreciative one becomes with life. It is perhaps the denial of death so prominent in our culture that could be responsible for all the useless activity that goes on and also people’s fear of silence. For just sitting in silence for five minutes can cause a flood of images to surface that many fear to face. Inner images can be strong and frightening, yet in reality it is just our soul wanting to get our attention and letting us know what we need to face and work on. Even if the problem is deeper, it can be seen as the soul’s call to get help.
Every era of life has it joys and sorrows, they cannot be separated. Nor is it easy to grow old gracefully, it takes level of self-awareness that can only become manifest with the true desire of self knowledge and humility. We build our lives slowly and with the help of grace, our hearts will continue to expand, for within the finite heart dwells the infinite, for in the end it is love, love of self and of others that the heart longs for, for the reward of love is to simply love more.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
Originally posted at: http://markdohle.multiply.com/journal/item/720/Turning_point
