(stream of consciousness)
A soul in pain seeks diversion. Or if tired, perhaps to find some rest, but where? Root-less-ness, a feeling of not belonging, can be a source of deep inner alienation, leading to isolation. Form; that which has boundaries, is not what the soul needs, at least on the level of inner thirst and unease; a place only felt but not often seen.
What are we rooted in? Our self-awareness, our sense of self, our longings, the human ability to create great art, philosophy and literature….all of that flowing from three pounds of meat in our heads! Some hear the call, others seem deaf, who because of this, often mock those who say they hear the invitation.
Human longing, what is it for, since nothing seems to quench the deep hunger for union with something beyond form, or thought, what some call God. I have a path I follow; it dictates the way I think and will, as well as the books I will read, and people I will seek out as beloved friends. Our world views cannot be boxed in and shelved, no, they are closer to us than our skin, even if not always adverted to. World views cannot be proven, just believed. If they work, then lives are enriched, if not, then there will be regression and chaos to bear, addictions and self destruction.
We live in a world where different beliefs, opposing world views live side by side. What is obvious to some is opaque to others. It is foolish to argue who is right or wrong, for even scientific paradigms change, there is no resting place. I try to root myself in my tradition, to enrich my soul on its wisdom, its saints and theologians. It is useless to try to change another; I can only change myself, and believe me, this is life long process….so how can I take it upon myself to set another straight? I can speak my faith, or my philosophy, but to try to persuade or change someone else, well it is a fool’s game and many play it. No, speak, listen and learn from everyone around, for each has a slant that can enrich and deepen understanding.
Don’t argue with those who seem angry, or filled with contempt; treat them kindly and let them be, for it is easier to tame a rattlesnake than to quiet the soul of one who is filled with arrogance and contempt, or perhaps at times, fear. We all have seeds within the soul, we can choose which ones to water and cultivate and which ones to leave alone, or perhaps heal and change a bit….though there are limits to how much we can do. This should lead to compassion for others, self knowledge does that, the less one has, the easier to mock and disrespect others.
We are loved and sought after; my world view leads me to that conclusion. No one is left out, all are loved in an infinite manner even if they do not love back, or even hate or disbelieve in that which pursues them and who are created in the pursuer’s image.
Failure and scandal are to be expected, for in fact all fail, but not all are forced into public scrutiny. There are those who think a simple act of the will with change everything for the better….oh, if only that were true. I crawl forward, there are those who run, but the running will not last if compassion based on self knowledge and thankfulness does not grow.
Who is my neighbor, why the one I love the least, or hate, or have contempt towards. The human heart remains a prison until the day when only love can free; which is called grace, freely given…. hopefully one day received by all. Until that time, my heart is still not free, though I can hear grace’s calling, and at time feel grace’s healing.
Jesus said
“fear is useless what is needed is trust”
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
