Unfortunately we do not learn about sinfulness from a heavenly messenger. Nor is it like the result of a personality test. We learn of our sinfulness when we are tempted. Temptation is more than awareness of alternative options: I am not tempted to genocide if I lack the means; I am not tempted to computer fraud if I am insufficiently skilled. These are not temptations. A real temptation involves a combination of elements: an external assault with the collusion of a fifth column within. It needs at least a 65 percent chance of success; otherwise inertia intervenes and the status quo prevails. Jesus Christ was tempted but was never defeated (Hebrews 4:15). When I am tempted sin often results, although sometimes the outcome is delayed by a token resistance. This is the sordid reality of my life. My tendency in prayer is then to try to put my sin behind me. Acknowledging only that it was an interruption in our relationship, I want to forget it when I come before God. This is a mistake. It is like hiding one’s symptoms from a physician. To go to prayer aware of the shabbiness of my life is a great blessing. I can approach God as the great Healer of life’s wounds, reveal myself in truth, and receive help. If I avoid the issue by keeping up a barrage of words and holy thoughts, I end up exhausted – and God is rendered powerless by my reluctance to be honest. My failures, I must learn, do not separate me from God. What causes the breach is an unwillingness to bring my failures into God’s presence. The greater failure is not realizing that God’s attitude to my sin is pity, not blame.
Michael Casey, OSCO
Toward God, p. 151
