I am such an enigma when trying to understand who I am and why I react the way I do. I often find myself being very harsh towards others, at least in my heart. At the same time I am aware that I either do the same thing, or perhaps something worse in my everyday life; yet I seek mercy for myself and at times show none to others. My heart is often closed to those around me, becoming impatient with them, while at the same time almost demanding others be patient with my own humanity. How fragile I am, how easily upset, how unmerciful I can become.
Yet I seek God’s mercy.
Bill showed me how to make a list of the faults of someone who really bothers me, then to read the faults I had written down out loud with the addition:
“I am a person who can be………
So I apply the splinter I see in another to the plank in my own eye. It was very revealing and humbling, yet it was also very freeing. To truly see the truth does set you free, even if it is painful to do so. Problems come from perceptions taken as truth, judgments are often in the long run, signs of inner issues not faced that cause pain and disorder in life. The stronger the reactions the deeper the truth that needs to be uncovered.
“Lord touch me to understand how merciful your are towards me, help me to then extend mercy to others. I will never despair Lord. Each day draw me nearer to your merciful love, so that healed I may show your mercy to others.”
