It depends on us whether we wish to be saved. Apophthegmata Patrum
It was said of Abba Gelasius that he was often assailed by the thought of going to the desert. One day he said to his disciple, ‘Do me the favour, brother, of bearing with whatever I may do, and say nothing to me for the whole of this week.’ Taking a reed, he began to walk in his little atrium. When he was tired, he sat down a little, then stood up again to walk about. When evening came, he said to himself, ‘He who walks in the desert does not eat bread, but herbs; so because you are weary, eat a few vegetables.’ He did so, then said to himself again, ‘He who is in the desert does not lie in a bed, but in the open air; so do the same.’ So he lay down and slept in the atrium. He walked thus for three days in the monastery, eating a few chicory leaves in the evening and sleeping the whole night in the open air and he grew weary. Then, taking the thought which troubled him, he refuted it in these words, ‘If you are not able to perform the works of the desert, live patiently in your cell, weeping for your sins, without wandering here and there. For the eye of God always sees the works of a man and nothing escapes him and he knows those who do good.’
