Sometimes life takes on the texture of a low grade horror movie. With pain lurking deep below, felt, but numb; because of the depth from which it flows. Below, even deeper than this pain, seeking to crawl higher into the light of my conscious mind; yet somehow kept in tow is a wall of sorts, my protector. Strong, durable, lasting, dependable; perhaps it is a protection, the weak protected by the stronger. I have often believed that the reason horror movies are so popular, is because they create a safe environment to see our fears without having to face them. For movies come to an end, the lights come on, and we leave. Yet what the movies show us continues to exist deep within.
We now live in a world filled with horrors, at least it seems so, but this is because of the instant communication that is now available. Most of us have front row seats, sitting before our TV’s or computers, oh yes, and our radios; just like in the movies. Being shown horror from a safe distance, then able to switch channels or simply turn whatever apparatus we are using, off.
I suppose most are aware, that many of today’s observers will become tomorrow’s participants in the horror parade, filmed fresh, live, for mass consumption. It is like we are each waiting our turn of unholy fame, though best not to think about it. It is of course not all bad, actually most is good our lives. Yet pain, death and the aftermath paints a pall over everything, muting the vivid beauty of life.
I can have faith and also hope and still feel deeply the seeming absurdity of life in bold colors, or deep grays. It is just something that has to be faced and gotten through. So in the midst of the horror, absurdity and pain of life, there can be joy…….also deep, deeper even than the horror dimly felt, yet joy is beneath it all. I doubt it is the deepest level, for joy flows from love, something so powerful that if experienced before it’s time would shatter everything, so it is the deepest.
Love is patient, love is kind, it surrounds all of us in our pain, horror and the ever deepening understanding of the absurdity of all our scurrying, fighting and in the end, much of what is the very heart of our cultures; yet we are loved.
To some a fool’s dream, for other’s a lived reality, others still, neither believed in nor thought about, so it goes. We all stumble, it takes courage to get up, and perhaps that is the most important thing to do.
Simply get up.
