Emotions flow of their own accord
often times my mind plays it’s own tapes,
movies,
reruns seen often,
all I have to do is sit back and observe,
the length of their life
depending on how the observer reacts,
calmly allowing things to proceed,
or being absorbed by the inner play,
which allows the story to spin out of control
its run longer than need be.
Hook in me,
ring outside,
that is the connection
when the dance begins,
contact with the center lost for a time
and the waves are ridden,
at times drowning in the illusion
of my judgments and projections.
Emotions, feelings, thoughts, inner pictures
rise and fall like waves on the ocean
sometimes wild and furious
at others
calm and placid,
I am slowly learning that both are the same,
passing,
it is the observer who is always present,
for in the depths there is peace,
silence,
and the simple gaze of the beloved on my soul.
The gaze is one of compassion for all,
It’s love not based on need,
or compulsion,
it just is
seeking a return of love
patient in it’s waiting,
so my fears are groundless though they feel real,
yet in the end it is the gaze that wins,
bringing me also to learn to simply gaze
and be
in the deep underlying presence.
At times I get lost in the inner drama
it reflection projected on the world outside
and I walk the maze of my own reflections,
until tired I sense that I am the observer again
and the gaze simply waits, loves, and welcomes me,
the prodigal son back home.
Fear is useless,
what is needed is trust,
a lesson I am slow in learning,
that love is not earned,
it is pure gift
eternally bestowed,
who can imagine such a thing
though true.
The world is real,
evil and stupidity happen
yet when compassion is lost
the inner connection broken
all that is left is chaos.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
