from: Indian Jones and the Last Crusade
I think that it is important on the spiritual path, to trust ones intuition when encountering some kind of problem with the faith, images of God, or simply what is told by Father, or some other spiritual authority. As we mature in the faith and also experience, we have more to draw from than is sometimes understood. We do grow in wisdom as we slowly make our way up the mountain, and that needs to be trusted. When saying this, I of course think we need to have either a Spiritual Director, if not that a friend with whom we can confide, or if not that, then some author or authors that truly speak to our heart.
Fears have to be confronted, and the answer is often presented to us by our ‘simple knowing’. This knowing leads to a larger understanding of God’s place in our lives and how he works with what we give him. We are often chaotic, wounded, and failures can be common in most lives. Our intuition can lead us to understand that all that happens along the road is important. Our failures, as well as our victories, are the very stuff in which grace works from; where self knowledge slowly grows, leading to a greater understanding of what humility is all about; which is often other than commonly believed.
Low-self esteem is not humility, it is something that needs to be faced, admitted to, and worked through. What can be named, seen, can be brought to the fore in prayer, which in the end allows our self-defeating cycles to be lessened and even curtailed over time. Humility leads one to understand that growth is slow, healing comes in ways that are not expected, and in the end, through grace, we become people that we never thought possible.
Anything that cause servile fear is not from the Spirit. Jesus presented God as father for a reason. It is a sign, as well as a symbol, that can allow us to grow slowly into the wonderful mystery of God’s infinite love for each one of us. So take courage, for what St. Paul said is true:
“nothing can separate us from the love of Christ”.
Intuition
We often know more than we admit,
for truth is often too good to be true,
or least we believe,
not trusting in what our soul tells us:
that fear constrains.
While trust,
the hoping against hope is what we are called to,
a true death to self,
(for we often embrace our pain,
a safe harbor
from the deep tumultuous sea of faith,
to the something more,
stronger than death,)
to something more glorious than we can ever imagine,
is the road we are to travel.
So trust in God’s guidance.
move forward in courage and love,
no matter how dark,
how shattered on feels,
or
how deep the wounds,
God’s love is the only true thing,
and the growing in trust the second truth.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
