Prayer is conversation with God, no matter what kind it is. It can be a wordless sharing, or thoughts can be present; in the end it is an actual being present to God, knowing that God is also present to you; more present actually, one with you, fused with your soul, holding you in existence out of love. One way to deal with fears is to drop all the pious ‘crap’ when praying, and to truly present what you may feel is the worst about you, and freely open yourself to this inner truth. If you are angry, state it. If you want to kill someone because of some horrible past hurt, say it. Lustful, admit it. If for some reason hatred for God is felt, it needs to be expressed. We all fear to be seen, often only showing part of whom we are to our dearest friends, yet even then we are careful with what we say. And for good reason, for we all have limits to what we can accept about others. Well truth be told, we are seen, fully, so why not just express it, name it, before God? Nothing you can say or do will keep God’s love a bay. We create our own prisons, God only wants to love and forgive.
If you find something impossible to do, or if you simply don’t want to do it, well again, speak it, loudly before the God who loves you. Be honest, childlike, open, and fearless before God. The fear of God spoken about is not the kind of fear that cringes, but the fear that does not want to hurt a loved one, we all know that kind of fear; at least I think we all do.
The sacrament of reconciliation is to allow us to experience that love and forgiveness of God, which is in reality always present, we just need to hear it from time to time. So cling to God, and when you can’t, ask God to cling to you. For have you not experienced God as faithful during the ups and downs of your life? In your darkness, have you not felt the light break through, God seeking you, embracing you, sweeping you up in His arms?
So strive to be merciful, for you, me, we, all of us, receive mercy all the time, so pray to be able to show that mercy to others. Allow you own brokenness, you sinfulness to draw you close to God, not to drive you away. God sees all; your soul is pure crystal before His loving gaze. Nothing is hid so speak the truth, and if you don’t know it, ask for the grace to receive it. Nothing can separate you from the Love of God; nothing. Well one thing, your freedom, yet if you are reading this, you are a seeker, you are open, you love, and no matter what happens, you are loved. Again only God is our judge, we cannot judge the inner relationship of anyone with the Transcendent, not even ourselves, which is meant to free us, not to burden us with worry.
Let go
On the cross where Jesus hung,
nailed to the beam,
thirsty,
gasping for air,
looking upon those who hated him,
tortured his body,
mocked,
as he looked upon them,
he forgave,
saying,
“Father forgive them for they no what they do.”
If those are forgiven who hated Christ,
what about those who seek and love him?
Aware of their own inner failures,
weaknesses,
inconstancy and sins;
should they fear(?),
or rejoice in such love freely given,
giving us strength to face the truth without fear?
To experience the lightness of being
that only love can bring,
to a world heavy burden,
weighed down
with fear and pain.
