Elias and I went to our PT appointment this morning. Elias had another doctor’s appointment later at 12:45; so we could not get back for lunch. We decided on a place to have lunch, won’t tell you its name, but it has great french-fries! As we sat down to eat, I noticed a woman in the both next to ours. I guess she was about 55, average looking and looking into at her smart phone. We gave a polite nod to each other and I started to eat my lunch. In a few minutes two men came in and sat down with her. I would say that they were about the same age as the woman, or perhaps a little older and very average looking as well, so they blended in well with the crowd.
A few minutes later she had to get up to do something or another and before she left the man and woman kissed each other. She walked off and came back soon enough. So he got up to let her in and they kissed again. Then they started to talk, and he leaned over and gave her a really big kiss. In the process of this show of love in public, both of them seem to change before my eyes. They became more alive, gentler, and more real to me. Perhaps it was a projection on my part, seeing two people who loved each other and were not afraid to show it in public and in such a gentle kind way, made me aware of a basic human longing.
As Elias and I were leaving we walked past them. The man looked up and I had to say what a lovely couple they were. It was the exchange of tenderness and love that seemed to make this average couples stand out in that fast food restaurant with its industrial décor. Perhaps truly loving couples see one another in such a way that no matter how average, or overweight, or old they are, the desire for contact is never far away from their minds. So what they see in each other can be brought to the surface by expressing it…the light and beauty that is their real self, a peek into their souls.
The longing for connection seems to be a major driving force in our lives. We are drawn, compelled and pushed towards those who evoke love from us. Be it in marriage or friendship. What deep place does that longing and desire come from? Is it merely because we are mammals and like contact and the comfort it brings. I guess that is part of it. However, with humans, even these loving relationships do not bring the union we seek. There is always something that keeps it from happening. So those who truly love one another have to accept the fact that the beloved can’t be God to them. Yet the wound that love brings can point us to that which heals.
God is love. A statement so often stated that it can lose its impact for us. If we are made in the image and likeness of God, then our longing to be seen, beheld, accepted, embraced and loved, could tell us something about how God relates to us…though in a manner that is infinite. Jesus said that the greatest love is for one to lay down his or her life for their friends. So if Jesus did indeed die for each member of our race, what does that say about the relationship that the Infinite has with us? This is hard for me to grasp, but that very simple showing of love today in that fast food restaurant became a small window for me. Allowing me to see the power that love has to make what looks average, into something warm, beautiful and I guess in a way healing to see.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
