In 1873 a holy nun identified only as Sister M. de L.C. in a French convent began to hear prolonged sighs beside her. The strange noises from an invisible presence went on and came nearer. In February of 1874, after much prayer and many Communions, the presence finally identified itself to Sister M as the spirit of a second nun we’ll call Sister O who had also been at the convent but who died several years before and was now in Purgatory.
“Great sinners who were indifferent towards God, and religious who were not what they should have been, are in the lowest stage of Purgatory,” revealed Sister O. “While they are there, the prayers offered up for them are not applied to them. Because they have ignored God during their lives, He now in His turn leaves them abandoned in order that they may repair their neglectful and worthless lives. While on earth one truly cannot picture or imagine what God really is, but we in Purgatory know and understand Him for what He is, because our souls are freed from all ties that fettered them and prevented them from realizing the holiness and majesty of God, and His great mercy. We are martyrs, consumed as it were by love. An irresistible force draws us towards God Who is our center, but at the same time another force thrusts us back to our place of expiation.
“We are in a state of being unable to satisfy our longings. Oh, what a suffering that is, but we desire it and there is no murmuring against God here. We desire only what God wants. You on earth, however, cannot possibly understand what we have to endure. I am much relieved as I am no longer in the fire. I have now only the insatiable desire to see God, a suffering cruel enough indeed, but I feel that the end of my exile is at hand and that I am soon to leave this place where I long for God with all my heart.
“I can tell you about the different degrees of Purgatory because I have passed through them. In the great Purgatory there are several stages. In the lowest and most painful, like a temporary Hell, are the sinners who have committed terrible crimes during life and whose death surprised them in that state. It was almost a miracle that they were saved, and often by prayers of holy parents or other pious persons. Sometimes they did not even have time to confess their sins and the world thought them lost, but God, Whose mercy is infinite, gave them at the moment of death the contrition necessary for their salvation on account of one or more good actions which they performed during life. For such souls, Purgatory is terrible. It is real Hell, with this difference, that in Hell they curse God, whereas we bless Him and thank Him for having saved us.
“Next to these come the souls, who though they did not commit great crimes like the others, were indifferent to God. They did not fulfill their Easter duties and were also converted at the point of death. Perhaps they were unable to receive Holy Communion. They are in Purgatory for the long years of indifference. They suffer unheard of pains and are abandoned either without prayers or if they are said for them, they are not allowed to profit by them.
“In the second Purgatory are the souls of those who died with venial sins not fully expiated before death, or with mortal sins that have been forgiven but for which they have not made entire satisfaction to the Divine Justice. In this part of Purgatory, there are also different degrees according to the merits of each soul.
“Lastly, there is the Purgatory of desire which is called the Threshold. Very few escape this. To avoid it altogether, one must ardently desire Heaven and the Vision of God. That is rare, rarer than people think, because even pious people are afraid of God and have not, therefore, sufficiently strong desire of going to Heaven. This Purgatory has its very painful martyrdom like the others. The deprivation of the sight of our loving Jesus adds to the intense suffering. It is a continuous martyrdom. It makes me suffer more than does the fire of Purgatory. It is so beautiful in Heaven. There is a great distance between Purgatory and Heaven. We are privileged at times to catch glimpses of the joys of the blessed in paradise, but it is almost a punishment. It makes us yearn to see God. In Heaven it is pure delight; in Purgatory, profound darkness. Oh, how I desire to go to Heaven! What a martyrdom we suffer once we have seen God!”
from Lowest Purgatory by Michael Brown
