The Model of Peter and Judas
When reading the ‘Last Discourse’ in the Gospel of John, there is a very interesting dynamic in how Jesus related to Peter and Judas. Jesus was greatly distressed over what Judas was about to do and I would believe over Peter as well.
With Judas before he left Jesus gave him some bread dipped in olive oil. It was a gesture of kindness and deep love on the part of Jesus to do this. One does not offer food to an enemy and even less so to one who is going to betray them. Yet Jesus did and allowed Judas to do what he planned and willed freely to accomplish. However, Jesus did not turn from and Judas did not reject him, for as St. Paul states, “Jesus is always yes”. Judas went out and it was dark, making an allusion to the state of his soul freely entered into.
With Peter, after Jesus shared ‘Eucharist’ with him, also knew what was to happen. However the interchange was different. Jesus understood that Peter would experience deeply his human weakness, the depth of his fear and to what extent he would go to escape capture and death. He would deny Jesus, not just once, but three times. Yet Jesus encouraged him, to fear not. He did not give Peter permission to deny him, but only gave to him freely his compassion and mercy even before the event.
I believe that compassion and mercy were offered (given) to both……The love of Jesus is unfathomable.
Jesus shows us the face of the Father. In dealing with both Judas and Peter he allows us to see how God never turns away from us, but is always calling us to deeper conversion….his call to Peter and Judas never stopped, for free will is present in some form and only God sees when some final choice has been freely made.
Judas planned his move. He got money for what he did. What caused this is perhaps a mystery because we do not often understand why anyone does what they do in the long run. In our inner life, our deepest self is seen only by God, who knows our true and real name. What Judas did was truly evil, just as any act of betrayal towards a good man is malicious in its intent. Yet when the time came, Jesus still called him friend, asking him would he really betray him with a kiss? So it was done and Judas in remorse after the fact went out and killed himself. What is his fate? Best not to guess or judge; for as with all of us, the relationship that the Father has with each soul, is between them alone…..that is why we should never judge at the level of a man’s or woman’s soul, or worth, or relationship with God. The commandment of Jesus to love our enemies is something that needs to be pondered over so that our understanding may deepen. It is easy to condemn, harder not to.
What Peter did was odious, but not malicious. He was overcome with fear. It gripped him by the throat and he was shaken and found wanting in courage. What Peter did was not planned, for did he not tell Jesus at the last supper that he would die with him? He was premature, yet he did grow into a man who would die freely for Jesus in a horrible way many years later.
Peter wept after he betrayed Jesus. Once the danger was over after the last betrayal, he came to himself and was overcome with sorrow. With a remorse that did not lead to despair. For Peter did not break his deep inner union with Christ Jesus, for what he did was not a choice, but one born of weakness. In the end, he trusted and did not hide from what he did, nor did he seek escape in death.
Judas could have repented as well and would have been welcomed back by Christ Jesus after his resurrection. He could have become a greater disciple than Peter. However because it was a free choice, made with cold calculation, it made it very difficult for Judas to open up to mercy. Yet again, his fate is better left up to God’s kindness and compassion. In the end we choose to accept mercy or not, but it has to be a choice based on a lifetime of choices that create us. Either into children of God or enemies of God and all others….our human freedom is a fearful reality.
God is merciful because he understands all that is within our souls. We have free will because we are in a place of conflict and trial. Each day we are called to choose, and how we do that dictates how we will decide in the future. We all sin, but to live in sin is a different matter, that is a choice, to choose self over all else. God grace is always present; we either grow into it, or move away from it, freely.
To the last moment of our lives God calls us, for we struggle, yet when this life is over, free will is no longer needed, for it is then when we are truly free that conflict is over, we go without hesitation to where we belong and would not want to be anywhere else. It is a hard truth to understand. Jesus came to save us from ourselves not from the Father, for the Father sent his Son into the world not to condemn but to save.
The good news is that we are infinitely loved and God is with us always. The sad news is that we can grow into beings who despise God and all of creation and in that we lose our humanity and become what we love the most, whatever that may be.
To know of ones need for healing and mercy is a good sign. Each day Christ calls us to give our yes, and in doing so, we allow mercy and grace to work ever deeper in our hearts. That yes may differ from one person to another, yet God understands the human heart and is greater than our hearts.
As Christians when we pray we unite to all, for being a part of the Body of Christ makes us members of a priestly people. Christ Jesus prays in us, with us and gives us his heart to love all to desire that all be brought into the mystery of God’s love for each of us.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
