Obedience is a blessing to be shown by all, not only to the abbot but also to one another as brothers, since we know that it is by this way of obedience that we go to God. Therefore, although orders of the abbot or of the priors appointed by him take precedence, and no unofficial order may supersede them, in every other instance younger monks should obey their seniors with all love and concern. Anyone found objecting to this should be reproved.
Chapter 71: Mutual Obedience (Rule of St. Benedict)
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In the world at large, in families and at the work place, and yes in Monasteries I believe that one of the greatest sources of suffering is “the will to power’. You get two people together on a project and much of the time there will be conflict. If not spoken of, it will be kept in ones heart and waiting for a time to explode. To lead is considered a place of strength, while those who follow, are less or even inferior to the one leading. This can often be unconscious, yet the suffering can be real.
Jesus led by example on Holy Thursday by washing the feet of his disciples showed what true leadership is about. It is about service and not power or domination over others. It is a hard example to follow and easily forgotten. In monasticism abbots would at times be corrupted by their power. They would lose contact with their monks and would cause deep suffering leading to alienation. Mutual obedience between monks is also a difficult lesson to learn.
When mutual obedience is missing there is then struggle for domination. It is like the mother of John and James asking for her sons to sit next to Jesus in his kingdom. The other disciples became angry, most likely because each of them wanted the place of honor.
To be obedient is an act of inner strength that is not appreciated by pretty much anyone because of our tendency to be self centered with weak egos. There is a deep seated anxiety in our nature about losing control. So seeking to arrange everything to our advantage is pretty much the norm. Living in community, or in a marriage, or in ones work situation can bring this tendency out strongly. The problem is this. Unless a person actually tries to show mutual obedience he or she may never learn how difficult it is and how our fragile egos can run us around and round. We learn the value of mutual obedience by failure.
Unless obedience is appreciated the practicing of it will go down like gall causing tension in the community, marriage or work place. Authority issues are a true bane for anyone who is in a leadership position. The reason it is such a problem is that it is often unconscious, so whatever ones reaction is looked upon as being true and just, without any understanding of the aggravation being cause to the one in authority.
When seniors show a condescending attitude to those under them, makes obedience very difficult and leads to a great deal of trouble. To misuse authority only aggravates the situation.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
