The silent soul is capable of attaining the closest union with God.
It lives almost always under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
God works in a silent soul without hindrance—Faustina’s diary 477 (e)
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There is a great deal written about inner silence. Silence is important, to be able to quiet the mind which is often filled with compulsive and anxious thoughts, or ones of anger, worry, etc. Inner turmoil keeps us from the present, from reality, which can only be lived ‘now’, for that is all we have.
I have given names to signify how I pray at different times during the day. There is the prayer of silent regard. A simple gentle awareness of the indwelling Trinity, of the constant love that is present communing with me in ways that I can understand, though at the same time hidden and obscure. It seems very ordinary to do this, just a simple awareness. I lose it for a time and gently bring the ‘presence’ back to mind.
I am often tired or even exhausted. I have always been low energy in many ways. I have never really understood it. Even when young and in good shape, I would find myself drained to the point that I could hardly bear it. As I age it is the same, possibly a little worse but not much. So now I have what I call the prayer of exhaustion. I may try to read when I feel that way but for the most part I just sit with it and that ‘lack-of-energy’ simply becomes my prayer. I sit with it, look at it, give it over to God and often fall asleep for a short time. I wake up with my head slumped down, and I simply go back to my prayer of exhaustion. One thing about this state, my mind is easy to keep silent in between dozing off for a few minutes. So I believe that this is an important way to pray. Most humans understand exhaustion, and many are like me, who for whatever reasons have low energy.
When my mind is racing, when I can’t seem to focus, I use my beads, just sit and slowly say ‘prayers’, intent upon the words and at the same time rolling the beads in my fingers. This gradually allows the racing to slow down and focus comes into play. When I pray this way, and peace descends, time seems to go away and I am often surprised at how long I can be in this state. Some times peace does not come, but at least the desire to pray is there. Beads and rosaries of all sorts have been used not only by Christians but by others faith paths from time immemorial. When driving in the city, or at the airport filled with noise and people, this kind of gentle saying the words of the prayer, being aware of their meaning can actually focus ones thoughts. Better than the compulsive ramblings that often happen if we just let our minds wander as they tend to do.
When anxious, which I find to be a very painful inner state, I have also found that it is good for me to simply use that energy as prayer, to sit with it, to offer it, and to let it go. I sink into it knowing that I am one with God and this is my ‘poor’ gift to him. In doing this, things settle down slowly. The energy is not scattered but directed towards the center of the Heart of God. I also join with all who are anxious and pray with them, be with them. Our connections are deeper than we can ever understand. The same can be said for anger or in dealing with sexual energy. It is all the same energy, we just experience it all in different ways and have to deal with it all, or it will deal with us.
Lectio Divina, holy reading, is a very important aspect of my prayer life as it is in the lives of many no matter what faith path or spiritual course they are following. To simply sit, to read slowly and allow the text to speak to us is a powerful form of prayer. It can be a difficult discipline for on many mornings or evenings, it may be difficult to focus ones mind, yet, with time the mind become absorbed with the text, or a deeper contemplation that the text draws one to. In other words Lectio is another way to let go of control and to allow grace to do its work.
Letting go is not easy. It is a paradox. In order to let go we need to focus and then not worry about results. We are not graded; we are called to be faithful not to be successful as Mother Teresa so wisely said. Prayer is a conscious communion with God, a dance of love with a great deal of inner struggle with oneself. The more one grows in trust, which is not easy, the deeper one can go in relationship with the Infinite, who I believe is revealed in Jesus Christ as love incarnate which points us to the Father. The more we seek, the more the Spirit of God will work with us. All we need do is to have the desire; grace will do the rest, though graces time table is not ours.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
