Compline is our last prayer service (or divine office) of the day. It is at 7:30 and probably the most beautiful of our services. We pray the same prayers for Compline every night, so during the time of the year when the days are shorter it is sung in the dark. It is also for me the hardest one to attend. I am pretty tired at that time, for we get up early, so I guess 7:30 is more like 11:30 as far as my body is concerned.
Last night I decided to go for a short walk before Compline to keep myself from dozing. This is a good time of the year for evening’s walks, the weather is gripping, and the sky clear and I love watching the planes that are circling the city to wait their turn to land at the airport.
As I was enjoying the walk, I saw a man leaving his car and walking towards our church. I have seen him off and on for the last year and a half that I have been guest master. He likes to come to Compline. He works for a news organization in Atlanta. He sticks out because when he comes he wears a prayer shawl around his neck. Not a Jewish one, which I think are very beautiful (one day I may get one), but similar.
I stopped and we chatted for a short while. I noted that I have not seen much of him lately. He told me that he can only come twice a week because of his work, which is Tuesday and Wednesdays…..even then he can’t always make it. He told me that he almost did not come because he was so tired, but came anyway since he can no longer come every night like he did in the past. So I responded he is really coming to express his love of God without thinking of getting something back. He thought that interesting and mentioned to me that he and a friend talked about that very subject a few days back. He is a true man of God. He is humble, kind, and seeks to grow in his love of God and others.
It is always very humbling for me to meet those who come here. They teach me a great deal and I find it interesting that some people think that just because I live in a monastery that I am for some reason ‘closer’ to God…..not sure anyone can get ‘closer’ to God than they already are. We just need to believe it and live from that space. I often do not live from that place. Though, as the years pass ever more quickly; I find that grace is slowly and patiently bringing me to that place of ‘rest’.
I am here because I am weaker than others, more fragmented, and this is a healing place for me. It is for others who come here for retreat or just to pray, a place where they can heal as well. They have no idea what they do for us. People come here, all religious paths, or none, and pray, rest, walk around and some share with us. It is they who make this place hollowed ground, these blessed children of God who bless us with their presence, love and at times friendship. It is not always easy knowing the monks, for when they come close they experience our humanity, our struggles and yes failures. Yet they do remain friends, true friends. Not much that is better than that, if anything.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
