Oblate Program at Belmont Abbey, NC

A Quiet Day Out

Dohle-journey-path-webA memory from my time in the Infirmary
(Br. William died 1/25/13) This was written in January of 2007

I came into work this afternoon and the first person I saw was William, who had that look. It was the look that communicated to me, that perhaps he needed to get out and about for a short while. Even though his short term memory is shot, I think the pressure of being cooped up has a physical component that needs to be addressed. Since it was after lunch; too late to get him a hamburger, I thought it would be a good idea to take him for a ride and get him some ice cream; something he loves just as much as chocolate. So I got him into a nice warm coat and off we went.

We drove around town for a bit, and he loved it, taking in the scenes and letting me know how much he likes driving around like this, just enjoying the scenery. I always treasure my time with the people I take care of and when I was with William I started to remember many of the trips I made with others who are now gone. Damian, who died last year, was one of those that I liked taking out, either for lunch or ice cream, or at times both, usually it was both. He loved to laugh and joke, and sometimes he would act “crazy” just to see me get a little worried. When he got the affect he wanted, he would then laugh and say “gotcha”. After a while when I learned of this game, I always pretended so that he would be able to get a charge out of fooling me.
I took William to the Dairy Queen, a good place for ice cream, and since it was after the lunch hour it would be quiet. I have to be careful not to take him somewhere that is noisy, since it will only make him hyper, later, after we get home, which would nullify the whole reason for taking him out in the first place.

I got him a double vanilla Sunday, covered with chocolate syrup and nuts and topped it off with whipped cream. You would have thought it was Christmas the way he went on about it. We sat down and talked and ate. He is always asking me about Harrison, his home town, and how are things there, so I tell him, well I make things up because in five minutes he will ask me again the same question. I can’t keep track of all the new things that are going there, even if I have never set foot in the town.

It was just a peaceful uneventful afternoon, a quiet day out, and it seemed to help him, for he was ready to go home when the time came. Sometimes uneventful is very good…… restful, a place to just relax and be. When we got back into the car he gave me a great compliment, he said: “I always feel so comfortable with you”, I thanked him and told him the same thing, which was true. I do feel comfortable with him and treasure the times we have together. Now he is in his room getting his bed ready for sleep, something he can do for an hour or more, but it is a ritual that comforts him, me also for some strange reason. One of the things I love is to go into my charges rooms when on duty and make sure they are sleeping peacefully, and soon William will be doing just that.

Taking of William was not always easy of course, but that is all part of the journey when caring for someone.  We loved each other; he would call me ‘Markey’ until his Alzheimer’s got so bad that I became his brother, so I took on that role.   I would enter into his world and go along with him.  I still miss him.

O Lord, your people are so beautiful!

Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
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