(About the 5th step) Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs 5th step
We are having a 12th step group this weekend. It is called the ‘Serenity Retreat’ and the group has been coming since 1973. There are few old timers still around. As time went on, many died and others replaced them. From time to time I am asked to listen to a 5th step. On one retreat, a man did a 5th step with me. He was nervous, as most are before this step because it takes a great deal of courage and humility to do it well. In fact the 5th step can be taken more than once, and each time from what I have been told it goes deeper and the healing more intense. It is based on the Catholic understanding of confession, though because it is done with intense intention; it seems to have more intense fruits in the person’s life that does it. It is not based on routine.
I am always honored and humbled when someone does the 5th step with me. For in doing this discipline, which is not easy many feel deep inner healing and peace. They open up things about themselves that they perhaps have never shared with anyone and simply tell it without excuse. They seek to be totally open, honest and trusting, before the person who is listening to their story.
Often during the process, at least from my limited experience, they get insight into questions that they have been asking themselves about. All the listener has to do is to perhaps give some little impute and encouragement. Once they start it often gets easier for them to be very transparent. For some it is the first time they have done anything that goes so deep.
This man talked for about an hour and after it was over felt peace and new found hope for his journey to deeper healing and trust in his ‘higher power’. It is true, the truth can set us free if embraced and not fought. For in the end, either now, or later all must be faced, seen in the presence of another and in that to find healing.
We are all naked before God, when this is understood then we can become more childlike and transparent in our relationship with God and others as well. When we understand that shame is just a cover that we seek to hide in, that it is an illusion, for nothing is hidden from God, yet we are loved, it is then that real healing and a deepening trust in God begins to grow.
All we need to do is to show up, seek, try and get up once again when we fail. For failure is often an important of the journey. It takes courage to begin again, to not be a victim and trust in God’s love and grace…..you think it easy? Well try it gentle reader.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
