I like to get up early. I have a routine that I do just about everyday. I go to the retreat-house kitchen and turn on the back porch light. I also shake the door before I open it because the light switch (chain) is on the outside. I shake the door to warn any critters who might be hanging out there….possums, cats, and who knows even an inquisitive coyote or raccoon. So I rattle the door twice and then go out. This morning as I was about to turn on the light on the back porch, I was taken by the absolute beauty of the sky with a full moon; though I know it is really on the 18th. Still full enough. It was the clouds that really got my attention. I wish I had a camera; it was so beautiful and crystal clear. Then I make coffee for the guest.
I have always loved clouds and for me each day is an art show if the sky is cloudy. I like all kinds of clouds. Yesterday I drove three of out guest to the airport in the late morning hours. On the way back I could not get over the beauty of the “heap clouds”. I never tire of them, my spirits are lifted and sometimes I see some cool shapes that no artist could replicate. I can’t stay down when I am looking at these clouds. As I was driving down I-75 towards my exit, it seemed as if the road was going up into the clouds…..I was so happy.
I also love dark storm clouds. I find them also beautiful but in a different sort of way. They seem to ground me to the here and now and my soul becomes quiet and reflective. I love to walk under such clouds, because I really don’t like the Sun all that much. All I do is burn and peel, and can’t see well in the bright light.
Sometimes the beauty in this world is overwhelming and to tell you the truth I often take it in small doses because I seem to get overwhelmed. I think this is true because I am a very primitive sort of person and am often affected more profoundly than I understand or wish to be.
When I go for walks out in nature I find myself shutting down a bit. Sort of like when I go to the airport and there so many beautiful people everywhere, I tend to put up some sort of barrier, which I am sure is understood by many people. I will often take a book with me, or pray with a finger rosary or my cord wrist rosary and focus on the bead and pray slowly. It keeps me present and I don’t get all scattered. Sometimes if I don’t do this when I am at the airport I can get very exhausted. I really don’t understand why this happens. It has always been a problem with me.
In beauty and terror of the storm
O Lord how much I rejoice
in the drama of the sky above,
in the beauty of the firmament
and the joy of clouds
floating by and changing shapes
yet for the moments seeming to be solid,
then they change and become something else,
sort of like all the world, yet in your clouds
this truth presented in beauty
and the terror of the storm.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
