All I want is to figure things out, give me the bottom line!
Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion.
The disciples woke him and said to him,
“Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” Mark 4:38
A small group here in the Monastery is meeting and talking about “Non-Violent-Communication”. It is a book of 14 chapters and I have enjoyed it very much. Br. Cassian, who was a teacher before he came to the Monastery, leads our study group and because of his talent as a teacher, it is turning out to be very worthwhile.
This morning we talked about how we can through the cycle of ‘self talk’ trip ourselves up in our walk with the Lord. Negative thinking, especially if it is not fully conscious can cause serious problems for the one who is caught up in its web.
There are times when we can’t always figure out why our inner lives are the way they are, or why we can have strong emotional reactions. Fear, anger and anxiety can drive the one experiencing them to seek distraction, which can lead to addictions in some cases. Not just the major addiction, like drugs or alcohol, but with food, work etc.
I have found that I will not be able to figure myself out; that there are times when all that can be done is to stay with the emotional upset and sit with it before God in prayer and mediation. Which allows it to live out its short life-time permitting things to settle down once again. Once this is discovered, that we don’t always have to deal with our inner storms, but we can just sit it out in a conscious prayerful manner, the feeling of being driven lessens over time I believe it is called “waiting on the Lore”.
Sometimes the bottom-line will not be found but we can discover that we will get through it and next time not to be afraid of the inner pain. That it will end on its own. To set with ourselves and not to seek to escape it is form of fasting. From destructive thought patterns as well as seeking relief in ways that will only delay having to eventually face ones inner chaos and allow grace to do its work.
When we allow ourselves to sit in the craft, with Jesus often sleeping in the stern of the boat, we will find that we make it to the further shore. We are never alone, once that is embraced and experienced; our emotions and feelings no longer have the power to drive us. We find the freedom that Christ Jesus wishes to impart to us. Not to fear life, but to embrace all it entails. The joyful and the painful, the successes and the failures, all are brought out for the best for those who love and trust Jesus Christ.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
