It is a true honor to meet the many people who come to the Monastery to make a retreat and to be able to share and learn from them. I have yet to meet a man or a woman who is not going through some sort of deep interior struggle. Some may not always know that until they slow down and begin the road to deeper self knowledge and a desire to connect deeply with God. Sometimes, it is when people discover that there is another way that the pain that they take for normal becomes a spur for interior growth.
Sometimes people don’t know that they are not their thoughts, nor are they their emotions no matter how powerful they both can be. I would say that most thoughts are not all that personal, but often a running monologue (or tape) that can click on at anytime when something happens that causes a reaction. Thoughts can race out of control if we get absorbed by them. The same goes for our emotions.
Prayer or meditation, while not always easy does allow space to simply step back and observe, or to step back and simply express what is going on in prayer. When these are missing the whirlwind is often experience and life can seem out of control, or actually is.
Jesus talks about the death to self and the danger of losing ones soul even if the whole world is gained. It is a reversal of values, a resetting of priorities that can seem absurd to many. The values often taught by society, not all by any means, can make it almost impossible to lead a centered life that allows inner growth and harmony. Not only with self, but with others, and most importantly with God, if one is a theist.
It seems to me that in this life we need the struggle. As well as knowing that we always have the ability to choose, even if at first it is a choice that is weak and ineffectual in its outcome; it is still the beginning of a long journey. On his way to Calvary Jesus fell three times but got back up again. When running the race, there are times when we become winded, fatigued and perhaps have to crawl, but we keep on moving forward in trust.
In Christianity the central theme of God’s love and mercy is often forgotten and we get into perfectionism which is deadly to any kind of deep inner relationship with God. As we live and choose, so when we die, and the seed is planted what we are, what we choose freely becomes a reality that cannot be denied. We are either ‘yes’ to God, or ‘no’. At death I believe we are eternalized, and we go from there. It is free, total, our own freedom being used to choose as God made us to do.
Yet each moment in life is a call to return, to get up and this goes all the way until the moment of death…..this being pursued by God’s love. I believe that when we pray we are to pray for all, to embrace all and to then leave it up to the soul and God’s grace. None of us knows the depth of the human heart of another person, we are called to love, heal and embrace, we are called to live out of our rootedness in Christ Jesus. I believe that all men and women who seek God are responding to graces impulse, all who desire it will find the light, those who don’t will also get what they desire. For to those opposed, the darkness and pain of separation are less that it would be if they were forced into the light of God’s mercy and love.
The thought of people choosing to live in eternal darkness is something that I don’t quite understand, yet I believe I have been close to it in my life, being overcome with inner anger and rage when younger. I could have made another choice in how I dealt with reality. Many Christians do not accept the possibility of being ‘lost’ and I understand that and I hope that they are right.
Victor Zammit is a good friend of mine who studies deeply the experiences that people have with contacting their loved ones after they did. Some examples are truly mind boggling. Many find them disturbing, yet he makes people think. I don’t always agree with him, but I am thankful for his honesty and his challenge to Christians is what they believe. We can often use hell as a tool to scare others, or to put people we don’t like or agree with in. If the Gospel message was understood, every Christian would pray everyday for all men that they attain to the state that God as has made them for. That is why I love the Chaplet of Mercy so much, it keeps that reality in the forefront of my mind.
In prayer we unite ourselves with all of mankind. The Our Father is a prayer for all, there is no “I” nor “me” in the prayer, just ‘us’ and ‘our’. So brothers and sisters, no matter what you believe, let us pray in hope seeking union with what the human heart most longs for….to be seen totally and loved and in that to gladly die to all that keeps that at bay.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
