The greatest way we can show respect for someone is to simply listen to them and not to try to change their minds. I suppose in trying to such a thing would lead to ‘Excedrin Headache #8”, since it is impossible. Howe do I know this? From personal experience when I am communing with others. I have been screamed at by some over the simple fact that I am a Christian believer. I have been reviled by Christians because I am a Catholic. Yet it has had no affect on me. Why should it? If I know this, why would I put someone else through that nonsense?
However, when I feel that I am respected I am more disposed to listen and it makes it easier for me to consider what is said to me. Even if it does not change my mind, it allows me to still grow in my comprehension of others and their beliefs. People think that they have good reason to think and believe what they do and who am I to try dissuading them of that? Yet I can share and listen.
When people actually communicate and not try to force compliance there is a cross pollination of ideas that can help both parties. Now this is not easy, for tolerance and respect are often a choice and not a fuzzy warm feeling. People have dignity and need to be respected. Of course there are some who need to be limited in what they can do to others, poor souls who have serious emotional and psychological problems. Or just plain mean and power hungry.
It is simply living out the ‘Golden Rule’, by knowing how I want to be treated and in turn doing the same to others. This takes self knowledge and a form of mindfulness of what one wants as well as what can stop that from happening. Fear for instance of the anxiety that can arise when speaking to people who live in a different thought or faith world. If it is allowed to run its course things will settle once again. To fight with violent language will only make things worse and ones fear of doubt will never be faced, tamed and used to deepen ones faith and understanding of their path.
Christ Jesus is Lord and I have experienced his love, mercy and healing. I believe that all receive the same; we just have to open up our hearts. Just as St. Paul had his Damascus experience, so I believe that all peoples who seek truth and love will have their own. Only God see the heart at its deepest depth. I seek not to be one who slows that process down or blocks it.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
