When I am afraid, I put my trust in you: Psalm 56:3
Sometimes I feel fear. It is when I become strongly aware of the suffering that goes on around me. On how common it is to have sick friends, people I love who are dying and my own aging as well. It is as if everything I tell myself about my faith and hope drops away and I am left shivering in a cold dark place. I do not like it ‘here’, but I also know that it is just like every ‘place’ my inner self finds itself at. It says nothing about the truth of my faith, for if God’s ‘Yes’ in Jesus is true then there is nothing that can separate me from the love of Christ Jesus. All inner states pass. The warm ones, the happy ones, the sad and horrible ones and the ones that can show me how much of life is ‘cold’ and ‘dark’. Yet it passes like a storm on the sea….it is when I forget that I can flounder. When I remember the love and mercy of the Lord, I get out of the boat and walk towards Jesus Christ who beckons me not to fear. For He has over come the world, the flesh and the devil…..in Him is my trust and hope and my fear drops away, or if not, I do not ‘fear’ my fear.
The mind’s chattering and fears,
the what ifs,
the what I have done
and failed to do,
are calls to dive into the infinite,
for fears are chains
created by our thoughts,
something taught,
branded into our souls,
yet
“love cast out fear”,
who can understand such freedom?
what is feared cannot be trusted.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
