I often wonder why I am at times
even though I know it is wrong;
yet I persist like someone picking a wound,
over and over again
in being unfair in my attitude towards others.
Self righteousness really at its root,
when they commit the same faults
or sins that I do,
more willing to look at them
than at myself.
Excuses for me,
condemnation for them,
the log in my eye
hidden by the splinter in theirs.
Perhaps it is a form of self contempt
thinking others better,
freer than me;
better able to change
they just don’t want to
therefore making my life uneasy.
So I switch it around
pretending for a time,
a lie of course,
that I am better,
using them to take the focus off myself,
a poor escape,
for how can one run from the reflection
thrown back?
Until the lesson learned
and the grace received
I will continue to ride this merry go round
for mercy will not allow me off
until love comes to fruition not only for others
but for myself,
the hardest task of all.
Br. Mark Dohle, OCSO
Holy Spirit Monastery
